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Relationships are Everything

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At any given moment, all things in the universe are in relationship to everything that exists. We need connection and community to live a favorable life. So why do we strive so hard to be unique? Is it that we have a need to be recognized and appreciated? Does this concept divide us, and is the result a congestion in the natural flow of our existence?

My world of coaching is about deep listening and staying open to possibilities… simply getting to the best version of the truth and how that will serve the whole. That’s where flow resides.

I spent some time with astronaut Neil Armstrong on an excursion to Antarctica. I found him to be very humble and enlightened. His statement, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” was surely profound but exemplifies that no action, or even a thought, is in isolation.

We have a responsibility to bring our best to this “gift” called life and not embrace the idea that we are entitled beings. We can make a big difference together.

“Every time we’re about to criticize someone for what we think they did wrong, let’s first remember to thank them for the things they did right. And to mean it; to sincerely affirm them. Then, if there’s still a problem that needs to be shared, it will come from a completely different energy — and actually be heard! “- Marianne Williamson

Our perspective determines our destiny so choose wisely.

Some simple principles for a happier life

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 As we enter the new year, consider these simple and familiar principles for a happier life. Instead of the usual quick read, pause and absorb how these could be useful to the specifics of what’s going on now.
Have a great holiday and carry  joy throughout your life.

  • Take care of yourself first. Instead of focusing on others and trying to control or change other people, pay attention to yourself first. This is a distraction or avoidance mechanism to avoid working on what is necessary in order to create a real shift.
  • Stay present to what is in the NOW. So much of our anxiety lives in the future.
  • Let go of the outcome and find joy NOW. We can only do our very best so stop worrying about the future. You really have no idea what’s next.
  • Change your mind. If your mind defaults to fearful thinking, get out the ‘remote control’ and tune into what you are grateful for and what IS working.
  • Choose to respond rather than react. Take a moment and collect yourself. Find a response that will create clarity and connection.
  • Cultivate new behaviors. Let go of what others think and listen to your own inner voice.
  • Find a lesson in every situation. There is always a take away.
  • Let go of your judgments. How we view others is a reflection of how we see ourselves.
  • Quiet your mind. Simply sit still, eyes closed and listen to your breath go in and out like the waves of the ocean. You will regain a sense of self and that you are safe.

Balance…is it an act?

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Balance

An even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to

remain upright and steady…

 

Maybe?

When I was a young gymnast, one of my goals was to hold a handstand. That would represent to the judges, that I had demonstrated that I possessed balance. In my floor exercise routine, I quickly learned that balance was not a destination, but just a moment in time. In hindsight, I now understand that balance is an illusion and only a temporary moment in which we seem to “have it right”. Even that handstand is moving in subtle ways to appear still. The handstand is on a rotating planet and a moving universe.

As a Life Coach, client’s come to me for a wide range of reasons, but one very common request is “How do I create balance in my life?”

What I have learned is that this concept means different things to each individual. One common thread is time.

We people give away a large portion of that special commodity

to our jobs, family, and anyone else that will take a piece of you.

That is where the challenge lies. Tolerations and boundaries is an area in our lives to address so that we may be “set free” from others.

What brings you joy and self-nourishment? What can you remove or give away to create space for the things you love?

We have been rewarded in various forms for our selflessness and what we can do for other’s. I fully am aligned to be of service, but at what cost?

The source of a great life is Self Care. In these difficult times ahead, sacrifice will be the rhetoric of the upcoming year. If you are not on a path to recovery, you are headed towards yet another disappointment and resentment. Can you afford not to take the actions now? It is inevitable if your needs are not met.

How will you create value needed to grow in this world?

 

Here are a few suggestions that will get you started on the road to “living on purpose”.

 

  1. Get your rest and sleep a full 8 hours every night.
  2. Feed your self high quality nutritional food.
  3. Take one thing off your to do list and substitute something joyful for yourself every day.
  4. Set boundaries.
  5. Identify what you are tolerating and remove them.
  6. Take an inventory of what IS working in your life.
  7. Slow down and listen to your heart.

 

It’s a start and that’s what matters.

p.s that’s me on the bottom right :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Codependency…

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Codependency (or codependenceinterdependency ) is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as in an addiction to alcohol or heroin); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of or control of another.[1] It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.[2] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships.[2] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns.[2] Narcissists are considered to be natural magnets for the codependent. From Wikipedia
I find it always interesting how we relate to one another. Our need to be seen and valued is held in high esteem with much attention to pleasing others.
We want approval from our family, friends, work environment, and virtually most contact, even our pets. Why are we drawn to this phenomena?
The experts say it develops in the models of our childhood and the dysfunction of power and control.
For me it has attributes that one can never fully feed if we are not grounded in our infinite selfs. I have chosen the life of a coach.
Is that an inclination for  self-sacrifice or caretaking?
As the definition explains, control in paramount.
We perceive that people are incapable of taking care of themselves, we convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel. The list goes on and on…
So what do we do?
First, become aware and conscience.
Take inventory of our behavior in various circumstances.
Get help if needed.

The Sounds of Silence

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No… not the infamous song from Simon and Garfunkel but the appearence of nothing.

“Hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again”

Silence is the relative or total lack of audible sound. By analogy, the word silence can also refer to any absence of communication, including in media other than speech.[1] Silence is also used as total communication, in reference to non verbal communication and spiritual connection. Silence also refers to no sounds uttered by anybody in a room or area. Silence is an important factor in many cultural spectacles, as in rituals.

Wikipedia nails it… Can their be nothing?

Miles Davis used silence as the point were the music IS.

I love the notion of  silence as ‘total communication’ or spiritual connection.

What do you hear in your silence?

 

 

Since the beginning…

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Since the beginning, fear has dominated the cultures and human dysfunction continues to install negative views of ourselves. The “not good enough” mantra controls us at the very core and people suffer in silence. People lose confidence in their ability to succeed, they stop taking actions that can work because they don’t know how to make them work, and they can’t tell anyone because they’re supposed to be successful and happy.

Our world is partially shaped by this ‘belief system’ adding violent communication to everyday exchanges instead of loving and nurturing language. People by default have descended into different forms of “checking out” with drugs, alcohol, sex, politics, anger and anything that will distract them from their feelings of pain.

I subscribe that this pain can be converted into a ‘powerful resource’ and can enlighten the individual to truly have a transformative experience.

Its kind of simple… people want to feel safe, loved and valued. Why not YOU?

It is the human experience to succeed and fail and that this is the goldmine for fresh new ideas and beliefs. We can select this opportunity to “pan for the gold” even while in it. If you believe that all is connected, then all is possible, at least the life you want to take away.

It doesn’t matter “what you do” as much as a connection to who you are and your purpose.

 

I disagree with those “implanted” thoughts and will guide you back to your inherent perfection.

I am not willing to “buy into” the notion that you can’t when YES is around the corner.

I am not willing for you to under-value yourself and the great money you deserve.

I am not willing for you to be placed in an environment that you don’t feel loved, supported and valued.

I am not willing for your life to be “business as usual”.

 

I have had my ass kicked on more than one occasion and refuse to lie down. I’ve been there, done that and figured out how to get up and get going and access what is inherently good.

 

The time is now for you to take a stand!!!

This is no accident but a calling.

I’m the help and here to support a happy and prosperous life.

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