Finish?

I was flashing back on a time in New York City when I used to watch the NYC Marathon, positioning myself towards the last couple of miles. I saw all kinds of body types and conditions of the various participants who made it that far. It ranged from the quick, light and spirited to the folks who had endured great suffering. I couldn’t help but think… did the ‘suffering’ choose the appropriate game to play as their symbol of “getting through the challenges” of life… that all was possible? Was there honor in finishing? What are the costs?

As a coach, I have observed many people attached to their story of “finish to the end” no matter what. Our choices matter and reflect whether we are in the flow or not and if our goals really serve us and others. As a personal trainer, I have had to work with many people with bodily injuries, as a result of that perspective. The price is very expensive.

Where does this come from?

I’m not sure but I will guess that it may have come from other sufferers, passing this dysfunctional story on in addition to the heros of our time… football coaches to generals of the armed forces.

How do we know when to get off the train… that the destination is no longer ours?

Today there will be 60 year wedding anniversaries, graduations, job promotions , etc., in which people have had no happiness in those pursuits but they ‘tufted it out’ in the name of finishing what they started. How sad they ‘gave up‘ the opportunity for their true alignment of purpose and happiness.

“I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker”.

- Helen Keller

Came to Believe…

Belief is the psychological state in which an individual holds a proposition or premise to be true.

I am always amazed how attached we are to our belief systems. It can connect or disconnect us from the world around us. We are born into our tribes which indoctrinates us into the universe we know. We BELIEVE that we are in the knowing of things and that appears to help us define who we are, but like the acts of the magician, it is only an illusion. In some, it convinces us that we are right and you are wrong.

Religion plays a powerful role in our vision of the world. Many would agree that it has been the source of centuries of conflict that has lead to much pain and suffering. We have been taught that faith is the path to freedom but I challenge my own belief systems on a regular basis.

What are you holding on to that does not serve you or the planet?

We are all tattooed in our cradles with the beliefs of our tribe; the record may seem superficial, but it is indelible. You cannot educate a man wholly out of superstitious fears which were implanted in his imagination, no matter how utterly his reason may reject them.

Sting or Stung

This week I took a driving trip to Denver to see Sting in concert with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. The venue was Red Rocks, an amazing amphitheater just northwest of Denver. Sting and I met back in the mid-eighties where we began a relationship at my studio in Carnegie Hall called Ron’s C-57. I was his personal trainer for about 4 point something years.

I had arranged the usual tickets and VIP pass through KS Management Company and all was smooth and easy. I have been doing this for years and was looking forward to my yearly update and connection. Spending time with Sting as a personal friend is truly amazing not because of his iconic stature but the immediate level on deep communication.

The performance was rich and full of surprises, in addition to Stings personal ‘story telling’ with the audience. The Orchestra was a great enhancement to the beautiful arrangements and harmony to some of the most popular tunes of our time.

As the concert ended, I made my way to the stage entrance and was told to wait for Sting’s ‘people’ to take me back. About 20 min. had passed and no Sting. I inquired about the delay and was told that the Sting and the band left immediately after the last bow to beat the crowd back to Denver.

Standing there with a few staff and a depleted audience, I looked down at my VIP pass and felt a bit pathetic. I am more than aware that I am responsible for my feelings, but it hurt. I am also aware that the protection around Sting is very intense and the team makes all of the decisions. Nevertheless, much planning, time and expense goes into a trip of that kind. I had imagined a deep and loving connection with the usual ccomrodory highlighting the evening.

Having to navigate the voices within, the question arose… “If we are to live in the present, how much do we lean on our expectations?” I had projected a story line of how it would be and its value. The truth is, I have fallen back in the wake of Stings ship and it hurt. I also know from observation thats how it works for almost everyone. It’s the nature of the beast… “but not me” so I thought.

I did send him an email the following morning of my disappointment and I got an apology two hours later.

“Sorry mate, I thought you would come in the intermission.
I needed some sleep badly.”
sending love.

Things change and life moves forward regardless if your ready or not.

Time is of the Essence

Every evening like clockwork, my two doggies Funi & Mia look at me with great affection as they close out their day. Both older dogs, I know I have very little time left with them. They receive my affection and settle in for some sleep. Funi is my older dog (at 15 ) and I know how much he means to me. I STOP, look into his eyes and see our ‘whole relationship’ in one glance .

I wonder what ‘our relationships’ would be if we were to bring into full attention, our love for community… our world?

Just a little flower

This weekend is the Memorial Day Celebration and across the country people are reflecting on the heros of our day and righty so.

The question for me is why is it so nobel to kill and hate another human being? Where does this come from?

Some may say it is in human nature to kill… but in the animal kingdom, most kill for food. It may be acquired through generations of people passing this fear on.

How is it that we hate the little yellow dandelion that shines its head up from the earth and smiles? Would it change if it were white?

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” James Baldwin

Trust / part2

Hours after my last blog on “Trust,” I called my father on our usual Sunday morning time. In the last several years, we have grown closer… with my willingness to dig deeper into who my father really is. Born into the great depression, his world views are colored by poverty and fear. Since we are living in this economic climate, my own personal wealth has declined and I too vacillate from fear to faith. On this morning call, “Chet” launched into a tsunami of criticism about his sons life failures and sited that others are “doing better than us”. I’m aware that he has great concern for our safety and ability to be self supporting, but in truth, this is about him. Like many parents, their off-spring become evidence of “how well they did” and the justification for the sacrifices they have made. The problem is, that this is not a dog and pony show.

Being tempted to react because of the immediate pain it caused, I listened for few moments and exercised my boundaries ending the call. I found myself it the language of retaliation and criticism. Keeping myself in check, I privately forgave him for that exchange and planned a refreshed conversation on this topic.

Only moments ago during the writing of this blog, the phone rang and it was my father apologizing.

In answer to my own question on “trust”… I choose to take it moment by moment.